Saturday, October 11, 2003

A New Beginning.....

What can I say? God lets me eat humble pie so I can die.
Death to self, death to self and more death to myself. :oD

These last 10 days have been humbling, yet at the same
time freeing. How do I explain? Have you ever thought
how when you finally surrendered yourself to the Cross
was the day life started getting "unpredicatable?"

Last weekend and last week in general was one of those
unpredictable times I'll never forget. For some background,
I received two dreams. In one dream I was driving on
the Golden Gate bridge in my 65 mustang. All of a sudden
I came out of the car, onto a raft and I watched my mustang
crash under the bridge into the water. Yet, I wasn't concerned
at all about the Mustang, only for my two friends in the car. One
was the camera man for my TV show and the other a good friend
from my Christian college. I got them both out and was just happy
they were out. Then in a second phase of the dream I was in a
staff meeting with my core team and they weren't listening to me
talk, so I got frustrated, yelled, went out the room and came
back singing a song "Jaeson is dead, I am dead, halelujah Jaeson
is dead," or something crazy like that. But I was so elated as
I sang. I sang my core team walked out of the room.

In another dream last week I was again in my 65 Mustang with
my core staff. We were all planning to go somewhere, but I told
them I had to get something back at my old church so I would
meet them at the destination. Well, they got in their cars and left,
and I turned the key to the ignition in my Mustang but the
key broke! So I took out another spare key, but that key broke
too! All of a sudden I was just driving around the Student Union
of San Jose State in a square, over and over again on neutral.

The interpretation:
Many times "cars" represent our "vehicle for ministry" in my
case it was my Mustang which I highly esteem. In both
dreams my "vehicle for ministry" was destroyed or put to
a stop. Both dreams my "core staff or team" left me and
I was left alone. Yet, I wasn't disturbed in both dreams from
the ministry crashing and being put to a stop?

Make a long story short, God stripped me of half my core
staff last week, gave a prophetic word through a brother
that we had been working in our own strength to do
God's ministry and that we were going no where fast.
Humbling? yeah. These last 5 months we have prayed
ourselves to death, planned programs to death, fasted
to death, promoted to death, done everything to win
the lost and have come up short with little fruit and alot
of people tired. The end outcome was a realization that
God was calling me back to my first love. To love God &
to love those He has given me. To do these two first before
I even think about loving the lost. I guess you would laugh
if I told you a few days after my dream and surrendering
the ministry to God I lost both of my keys to the San Jose St.
student union ballroom (where we do ministry) and I still
have no idea where they dissapeared?

In utter brokeness the Lord led me spontaneously to
LA for a conference at Harvest Rock last Saturday.
I was not planning to go because I was scheduled to
speak in Oakland at the Business Mens Fellowshp breakfast.
Before I went to LA I spoke at the BMF event. I was impressed
in my spirit to speak on Jeremiah 1:5-8 "Do not say I am
but a youth." As I spoke and shared my heart cry for revival
in this generation the power of God broke loose in the room.
John Davis a revivalist from Brownsville Pensacola spoke
after me and shared, "Alot of us pastors do do do, but in God's
eyes its just a bunch of "do-doo" (haha!) he then spoke
in the coming revival the Lord is restoring His church to bridal
love and Jesus in the first place!" Fire broke out over the room
and many people were slain in the spirit. I knew God was speaking
to me, to return to my first love, but also not to be in despair
for the promise of revival in this generation would still come to
pass; with or without me.

At 3pm I decided to buy a Southwest flight to Burbank. It was
foolish because I had already missed the first 6 days of the
conference, but something in my spirit said I had to go. My
friend Ben Hui picked me up and we were given seats near
the front of the auditorium. Cindy Jacobs (international prophet)
was the scheduled speaker. She was also the one who gave
me my first major prophetic word 2 years ago. Funny thing,
is much of what she prophesied over me I had begun to doubt
because much of it had not happened yet.

Well, she starts her message but first asks Vineyard Technology
(15 staff) to come up for prayer. (This is the company that has
me heading up their youth foundation) Surprised, I go up with
them and as she prays for each person, she finally gets to me.
I knew she didn't recognize me from two years back and all
of a sudden she prays something like..."the youth, you are
called to the youth of San Jose, Silicon Valley." Then she
said, "He's a Jeremiah, a Jeremiah, do not say I am but a youth!"
It was short, but it meant the world to me. You see, the 2 page
prophetic word she gave from 2 years back the first page
dealt w/ me being called as a Jeremiah or a prophet to this
generation. It was confirmation to me, the word the Holy Spirit
spoke to her from years back, was indeed the word of the Lord.

The next day, Cindy gives another word to Harvest Intl Ministries
(the apostolic network our church plant is under) and speaks
to Pastor Lou Engle, "H.I.M. is going to the greatest churches
on the university campuses of America, you have prayed and
fasted at the Call gatherings, but now the Lord is opening the
doors for prophetic evangelism on the university campuses!"
She had no clue, that our church plant at san jose state is
the first church plant under H.I.M. on a university campus. My
heart was beating like a 100mph and I wanted to cry, because
the Holy Spirit has shown me again and again He is about
to birth another student missionary movement among the
campuses of California to reach the ends of the earth w/ the Gospel.

Pastor Che called the congregation to repentance and a new
commitment to evangelism. He then called me on stage telling
the crowd we had just started a church plant at san jose state.
Cindy was in awe. Later Pastor Che told me, Cindy had no
clue I was from San Jose or even an H.I.M. pastor. God was truly
encouraging me.

The crazyiest part of the trip was after that session Pastor John
and Michelle the associate pastors asked me to go eat lunch
w/ them. At first I couldn't because my flight to leave was at 3pm,
but something told me to delay my flight to goto lunch. So I did.
We went to Korean BBQ and I told them my vision to plant
"house groups" (house churches) among students in the
Bay Area. Later they took me to their "huge" house in Diamond Bar
to drop off their two sons before we returned to the conference.
This is where it gets crazy....

As I walked into their home, into the hallway, into the kitchen,
all of a sudden dejavu hit me like a ton of brics. The presence
of God fell upon me so strong and the awe of God enveloped
my being. I had seen their house in detail in at least 2-4 dreams
in the last 9 months. I then told Pastor John, "I've seen your
house in my dreams, I know it, when i walk up these stairs
you will have a long hallway connecting to the other side
of the house and such and such rooms." He bore witness
in his spirit as I spoke and sure enough, his upstairs was
exactly as I described it. I began to ask the Holy Spirit,
"Why are you showing me this and how does this connect
to the dreams I had?"

In my dreams I was in their house running around and
having fun with tons of young people all over the house.
People were just hanging out everywhere. I remember
waking up each time and asking myself, "Who's house
is that Lord, why are you showing me this house?"

As we were driving back to the conference the pastors
wife spoke. "Jaeson its interesting, but when you told
us your vision for house churches among youth people
at the restaraunt, we were going to tell you that the
the reasons we are pastors today at HRC is because
the home you were just in was a house of "renewal"
for over 3 1/2 years. Basically, it was a house church!
We started a small cell group, put it in the bulletin once
and for 3 1/2 years hundreds of people came from
far and wide, we have no clue how they heard about it!
And just like in your dream there were young people
all over the house. We had simple worship, bible study,
and we ministered prophetically and delivered many
people. Pastors and homeless people would come
to be refreshed by the Holy Spirit and we even took
offerings for the poor. Our home Jaeson was a literal
house church and that is where we learned to pastor.
We believe what God has burdened in your heart is
what the future church of North America is going to
look like."

I was in utter amazement. I could not even speak
for the Holy Spirit was confirming to my heart
indeed He has called me to see the book of Acts
happen once again, even in this generation.

Oh, and btw..when i went back to the conference
Pastor Che prayed for a women with a leg shorter
than other in front of me and I watched with my
own eyes her leg grow it to normal length!!! Only
the power that is in the name of JESUS!

Even with all this encouragement, the Lord spoke
to me clearly about the future. Indeed, I am
convinced without a shadow of doubt that the
vision He has given me will be accomplished with
or without me. God is going to release another
Jesus movement among the campuses of California
and new churches will be planted for this generation,
and ultimately unto the nations.

But as for me, I've learned its not in my time, my way,
or my strength. Surely, it is only by His Spirit that
anything will be accomplished. As I worshipped during
the worshp time, I was on my knees and the Lord
gave me a vision.

I saw an American eagle with a snake in its mouth. I
asked the HOly Spirit what does this mean? I then
closed my eyes in silence again and this time I saw
a map of America and thousands of American eagles
hovering over America w/ snakes in their mouths.
Then the Lord quickened Isaiah 40:31 to me...

"But those who wait upon the Lord will renew their
strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they
will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not
be faint."

The Spirit of God spoke clear as day to me..
"Jaeson if you will teach this generation to wait upon
me they will never be defeated, but always victorious."

It was like night and day at that moment for me. AHA!!
This was the secret of the Lord for my life, to teach
this generation to wait upon the Lord, to practice
the discipline of silence and total dependence on God.
no more programs, no more planning, no more entertaining,
no more anything, but to simply learn to wait, to enjoy God
and to let Him initiate ministry, by first being ministers to
Him. I'm still not sure what this will all look like, but my
passion and desire now is not to build a great ministry,
or even plant churches, but rather to teach this generation
to practice the presence of the Holy Spirit and from that place
of "first love" and "intimacy" I believe the greatest ministries
will spring forth all over the earth. Let it be so Lord..
I have nothing to my name, nothing but You.


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