Friday, April 22, 2005

Life of the Beloved: The Cry of my heart

There is one single vision burning in my heart right now. To see this generation revived. All day long there is a burden burning in my heart and I can't stop it. I don't even know what to do with it. It's like just weighing on my heart like a heavy weight & I know it is God's heart for this lost generation. There isn't much I can do but pray. I have so many good ideas, good plans, new projects, thoughts and endeavors, but the Spirit of God is reminding me over and over again. Simply pray. Cry out to me. Get into the place of desperation and seeking my FACE again. No longer strive, just
pray. Lol...I really don't know what I'm doing anymore. Things aren't bad, yet I can't say that things are great. Somedays I fail, some days I succeed. Some days I feel like I can leap over a mountain and the next day I feel like I can't push a penny. One thing I do know is that God loves me & He sees the deepest most inner part of my heart. He knows how bad I want Him
and He knows how bad I want His power to come upon this generation. Send Revival Lord, start with me. I'm not pefect Lord, yet You hear my cries. Yes, I fail & over and over again I do, but I know that You see my heart. You see my desire to please You and be poured out before You like a drink offering. Now is the time Lord, can You wait and hold back any longer? Can you wait & not release Your great power in this day?

I have to remind myself, "we are not losing this battle, we are winning,
in fact we have won." I may not be the best leader, the best visionary, the best speaker, the best pastor, the best anything, but being the "best" or "having it all together" is not the point. The point is that I love Jesus with all my heart and I truly desire to do His will, even though I may stumble & fall, He is always there to pick me right back up. His mercy is new every moment & I may never get it all together "right" but it's "alright" that I'm not "alright" cause He's alright with that isn't He. :) Yes You are Lord. You love me as I am & You will use me as I am.

I've been blessed beyond measure. In the last month I've seen God show mercy to both my parents and my sister. Saving them from the onslaught of the enemy. The Devil tried to take away my peace, but God's angels wouldn't let him. He is faithful.

I'm in that place where my heart is burning again. I don't have a clue what I am to do. The vision is so large, yet I feel so small. I just want to see revival. I want to see the kingdom of God sweep across the campuses of this nation and the nations of the earth. I want to see campuses, cities and nations taken over by the power & presence of God.

At the same time I want to see myself become a better person. A better
friend, a better brother, a better son, a better pastor, a better Christ
follower. I want to do it right. Sometimes I get so down on myself for
not being perfect & God is teaching me to give myself grace, to forgive
myself & not to compare myself to others. I am who I am in Christ. I'm the only "Jaeson Ma" on the planet & I know God likes it that I am. And I know He desires that you who may be reading this to like yourself as you are, with all your faults and all your frailties & at the same time with all your gifts and all your talents. God has made you unique and like no other. Accept the gift of being ~ you. You are His beloved.

let us never cease to pray & never cease to seek Him. By doing this we will know Him and know who we are. We will catch His image and carry His heart. We will burn for Him and burn for souls. Oh Lord, break me till I am absolutely nothing that You may become everything.

In Jesus name, amen

below is a outline of a lesson I taught from the book
"Life of the Beloved" by Henri Nouwen @ house church
this week. I believe these quotes and words will bring you back to the basic understanding that your core identity is how God thinks about you. He thinks about you as His beloved child. Receive it. :)

Life of the Beloved: Henri Nouwen

Key verse:

“You are my Son, the Beloved; my favor rests on you” (Matt 3:16-17; Mark 1:10-11; Luke 3:21-22)

“I in them and You in me. May the be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as You have loved Me.” John 17:23

I. You are the Beloved!

a. God loves us with the same love He had for His Beloved Son Jesus
b. We must believe being the BELOVED is our core identity
c. Friendship is all about: giving to each other the gift of our belovedness
d. It is not easy to believe we are the beloved when the world shouts:

“You are no good, you are ugly; you are worthless; you are despicable, you are nobody—unless you can demonstrate the opposite.”

e. The greatest trap in life is not success, popularity, or power, but self- rejection. Why?
f. Self rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved”

“I am constantly surprised at how quickly I give into temptation. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as I am rejected, left alone or abandoned, I find myself thinking: “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” Instead of taking a critical look at the circumstances or trying to understand my own and other’s limitations, I tend to blame myself—not just for what I did but who I am.” (Page 32)

Example: A person criticized me and I took it to heart that because I failed, I was a failure as a person.

II. Your Belovedness can only come from the voice of God

a. Too many times we listen to other voices to find our identity…
b. “Prove that you are worth something; do something relevant, spectacular, or powerful, and then you will earn the love you so desire.”
c. We hear the voice of the beloved from those that loves us, but it is not enough to convince us that we are the beloved.

“If all those who shower me with so much attention could see me and know me in my innermost self, would they still love me?” (Page 35)

“Aren’t you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you that final feeling of inner well-being you desire? Don’t you often hope: “May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country, or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.”

d. As long as you looking for that “moment” of fulfillment you will always be searching, running, anxious, restless, lustful, angry and never fully satisfied.
e. Looking to other voices, other than God’s voice will lead us to spiritual burn out and spiritual death.

III. You must know you are the Beloved

a. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us.
b. We must claim this as the truth of our lives!
c. Read (Page 36 quote)
d. Every time you listen attentively to the voice that calls you Beloved, you will desire to hear that voice longer and more deeply.
e. We do not need to fall victim to a manipulative world or get trapped in any kind of addiction.

Practical Application:

1. Say daily, “I am His beloved and His favor rests upon me”
2. Spend time in silence & solitude receiving and believing God’s voice speaking over you “You are my Beloved in you I am well pleased.”
3. Meditate on God’s voice throughout scripture of who you are in Christ. 4. Exchange your ungodly beliefs for godly beliefs & speak them out loud.


At 4/23/2005 01:23:00 AM , Blogger Daniel said...

thanks jaeson

At 4/24/2005 01:51:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Faithful One, so unchanging
Ageless One, You're my rock of peace
Lord of all I depend on You

I call out to you, again and again
I call out to you, again and again

You are my rock in times of trouble
You lift me up when I fall down
All through the storm
Your love is the anchor
My hope is in You alone

At 4/24/2005 02:50:00 AM , Anonymous richard/richie said...

hey jaeson,
thanks for being real. and for posting henri. he is the absolute bomb. have you read "In the Name of Jesus?" I think you might like it. this is a good article he wrote too on belovedness:


At 4/24/2005 07:51:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for that, i feel just exactly like that right now, i don't know where i'm headed or where he wants me headed but yeah it's so wonderful to have that burden and desire to see all these souls of these youth crying out to God.

:) you know, i don't think i will ever be the best because there will always be someone bigger, someone better but i believe it'll happen. i'm so sure!

will be keeping you in prayer, take care and keep burning!
thanks so much for that post again...God really spoke through that entry to me!

God bless, Mel

At 4/24/2005 12:37:00 PM , Blogger pearl said...


At 4/24/2005 05:26:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

God bless you, Pastor Jaeson! Thanks for your sharing. I'm actually confuse his will right came just in time!

'It is through the Lord's love that we have not come to destruction, because his mercies have no limit. They are new every morning; great is his good faith.' Lamentations 3:22-23

Thank you very much, Pastor Jaeson.
I can enjoy my breakfast now.

At 4/24/2005 07:43:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Oh Lord, break me till I am absolutely nothing that You may become everything."
Well said! Jae! May God be our only vision, not our plan, not even revival itself. It's about the King of Kings!

At 4/26/2005 10:23:00 PM , Blogger Abigail Alice Tsang said...

Pastor Jaeson,
Thanks for your sharing and encouraging message :)

Psalms 139:13-17
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

God Bless

At 5/29/2005 05:09:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, i needed to read this post. it's one thing to hear everything concerning our value in the sight of God, but internalizing it is another matter. one of my summer spiritual goals is to work on this...thanks so much for posting!


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