"How many sons have cried for their fathers, how many fathers have cried like a son?"

One of my greatest prayers, my greatest dreams, greatest callings would be that I become a good father one day. Growing up without a father, one that wasn't there for me that is, I've always wondered if I would be the father I never had to my own children one day.

This song by Jason Upton has touched my heart in places I can't make words for, I guess there is this deep cry in my own heart to be fathered, to have a father who loved me, not for what I did or didn't do, but just loved me and taught me how to be a man. I could only imagine how many other young men, even women in our generation have this same cry in their hearts, to know the love of a father. To be secure, to be safe at home and at rest in the arms of a father. So many times, I've loved others for what they could do for me, or how they performed, but this is not the heart of Abba father, His love knows no limits, counts no wrongs, accepts us just as we are because we are His sons and daughters. We are loved not for what we do, we are loved simply because we are sons. I don't want to know this only in my head, but in my heart. I want to walk as a son secure in the Father's arms. I can't give what I don't have, may I truly and fully know the love of the Father I pray that I might give the Father's love away. This generation needs the unconditional love of the Father so bad, so so bad, I know it, because this is what my own heart cries out for. I pray for myself, I pray for you, that you we would all know the love of Abba father. This is what life is all about, knowing the Father's embrace...and it's here for us if we open our hearts to receive it. We must not be afraid, for His perfect love casts out all fear. There is a place in the Father's house waiting for us to enter. But we must choose to enter in, to trust Him.

It makes me think, how many fathers, my own included are crying like a son wanting to know the love of a heavenly father. My own dad is just a little kid in a big mans suit and so am I. I can't hold any hurt against him, he's crying out just like me. We all need a father, we all need to be embraced by the Father's heart before we can father our own sons and daughters.

Oh Father, help me know this love you have for me, may I rest in your arms, cause honestly I'm pretty darn tired from running this race of life, this path that has been set before me. At times I don't know if I can make it and it's at those times Father I'm asking that You carry me through, cause I don't want to be afraid anymore, I want to know that I can trust You ...I want to know I have what it takes. I want to know that it's going to be ok. I want to rest in Your arms so bad, I'm tired, would you hold me as I rest in the palm of Your hand? Here I am Father, here I am, I love You and I open my heart to You. Abba Father, I rest in You.