Sunday, August 03, 2003

From Jacob to Israel...

So on my june 7th blog i typed a prayer.."Lord change
me from Jacob into Israel. I prayed this right before I
went to a retreat for inner healing and deliverance.
Interesting, but the very next day at the retreat
the Pastor preached an entire message on turning
from "Jacob into Israel" and had us all declare in
the room "I AM ISRAEL" (I had no clue he would
preach this message.)

You see, Jacob was a deceiver, striver, manipulator,
do it myself to get further kind of guy. It wasn't until
he finally achieved everything that he realized he really
had nothing. He had riches, power, prestige, and even the
girl of his dreams..Rachel. Yet, even with all the blessings
he had acquired, his spirit still found no rest. In a last attempt
to find peace of mind he decided to go back home to the land
of his father Isaac. Even if it meant facing his furious
brother Esau who wanted to kill him. It was there on Mt. Bethel,
Jacob was brought to nothing. In fear of his angry brother Esau
approaching him, he gave away everything he owned to Esau in
an attempt to appease his brother. It was to no avail,
Esau was still coming to avenge his stolen birthright.

That night, at the end of his rope, with nothing left to
his name, Jacob fell into a deep sleep and had an ENCOUNTER
with God. He wrestled Him till morning, refusing to let
go until God blessed him and changed him from Jacob to
Israel. He had finally come to understand that God was
the only thing that could truly satisfy his deep longing
to be affirmed, accepted and loved. He was changed
from doing it his way (Jacob) to doing it God's way (Israel)
Instead of trying to become something, he received
from God his true identity as one who had already be-come.
He became one who was surrendered to God's dream and
no longer his own.

I had a great talk with my best friend Matt tonight. God
is not saying "no" to my dreams, in fact He put them there.
But for right now, he has me focused on another dream
he has put in my heart, one that is not as easy and
glamorous. Why? So that He may perfect me in patience,
discipline, obedience and faithfulness. He is testing me
by teaching me to "trust Him" so that one day He can
"trust me." So I welcome the discipline, because I realize
my striving is only going to lead to more emptiness. I'm
tired of building my own kingdom on my own efforts.
I want to start building His kingdom, His way, which is
effort-less. Lord change me completely, I beg of you. When will
I realize Lord, all this striving is in vain, all these accomplishments
are worth nothing, everything in this earth is fading away,
why then oh Lord do I not cherish this moment of opportune
intimacy and friendship with You?

Jacob's Dream
Jason Upton


Lyrics:

Jacob really longed to be a hero
All I really wanted was a friend
I'm the way, the life, the truth
So tell Me Jacob when will the lying end?
And does the striving make you strong?
But finally Jacob's lying down
And while he sleeps I will dream
Of a generation not known for their crowns,
Or success, but a King...
Who was not so much as interested in crowds, or
Pleasing men, but knowing Me

I have given Jacob's generation the key of David, intimacy
To open up the doorway to the nations, and release
Revelation, of intimacy, with me

Jacob had a dream for all the ages
Jacob had a drive to build a nation
But the fighting is in vain
when your only aim is to build your own great name

Because My dream's not what you do
Jacob will you dream for me
The way that I have dreamed for you

www.jasonupton.com

......................................... .... ... .. .

Lord I do dream the dream You have for me..
and I welcome it with gladness. ;oD

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