What da heck?

Well, it must be God, I finished writing the rough draft of my book two days ago. I don't know, but definitely it was God's grace. I pray it will be put into the hands of those students who will take it and run with the vision to see revival and reformation established on their campus. I'm thinking about posting the rough draft chapters on a blog so yall can read it and give me feed back..ouch. haha..its coo. I know i will have to probably slash half the book in the editing process, its needed especially with my ghetto ebonics grammar :P

as for me, haha, i'm still trying to figure myself out. sometimes, I wonder why I am the way I am. I love it, at the samee time I don't understand it. It's really tough not being at UCLA as much as I desire to be right now, but I know I have to obey God in this 3 month sabbatical. I'm really proud of Caleb, Sam, Anita and just everyone at PC or passion church (www.pcla.wordpress.com) I really wish yall could come out to these simple church gatherings, they are really something else, Holy Spirit has been pouring out in the gatherings like crazy, people are being filled with the Holy Spirit for the first time from all over campus...its been growing, at the same time, dealing with rapid growth is not easy, we are dealing with that now as simple churches are being planted and others need to multiply. but its a good problem, fun, and alot of hard work, but the focus needs to be on one thing - intimacy with Holy Spirit. I realize I am so weak, so so weak, weak at being a leader, weak at loving others, weak at empowering others, the human brain seems to always be in defiance with God, Lord help me, I don't get me at times, but I know You know that I don't know what the heck I'm doing half the time. Have grace on my faults and give me strength, wisdom to do what is right. If I fail, pick me back up, shed grace not on me, but more so on others who are affected by my faults. i realized the other nite, there maybe a friend (one that does not believe in Jesus) who I have been doing my best to be Jesus to, that may have been, well is, turned off by Christians, I honestly think I had a part to play in that, I feel horrible, but I pray that God would shed grace on my fault, and extend grace and blessing upon my friend. There are so many other things I do, that I go, "geez God, help me man, if You don't hold me back, I will mess things up bad" but the good part is, He loves me, Holy Spirit truly loves me, and His presence is never failing, never ending, always there and yeah, give me strength to carry on in this life. Things come, things go, one day you are up, the next day you are down, but through it all, He is good, oh so good. One thing I've learned, "Don't take yourself too seriously and stop beating yourself up" it's not that bad, things will get better, there will be another day, a second chance, and God will work it all out for the good in the end. do your best, God will do the rest. amen :)

posted by Jaeson Ma @ 10/06/2006 01:15:00 AM