Saturday, January 22, 2005

trying times...the test of faith

i guess i haven't gone through such a trying time in my life
as the one i am going through now. I wish i could explain
what is happening in my life, but the sad part is that I can't.
This feels almost like the time when I lost everything about
3 years ago at 21. But, I know its for a reason and a season.
I know God is molding, making, breaking and laying a foundation
that I can't understand in me at this moment for a greater
purpose and a greater glory. It's rough though...there will be alot
of changes in my life and ministry this year. I sense the Lord
is doing these changes to have me "slow down" so that He can
have all of me for Himself. That one day I will hear that
"Well done good and faithful servant!"

These last few weeks I have had to face many crosses. Crosses
in my most important friendships, family and future. The cross
is costly. In every cross that He puts before me, I must ask
the question, "in what I decide at this moment what will bring
the most glory to God?" Usually, the difficult decisions. I mean,
it's no joke when Jesus said He came not to bring peace,
but a sword...anyone who loves his father or mother more than
me is not worthy of me: anyone who loves his son or daughter
more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not
take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever
finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my
sake will find it." (Matthew 10:34-39)

This is the situation I am facing at the moment. To forsake all
to follow Christ. I made some tough decisions this last week.
Tough tough decisions. I'm at dust again. Starting from scratch
not knowing where the wind of the Holy Spirit will take me from
here. I have to once again trust God completely for provision,
for the healing of relationships, for everything it seems. I feel like
a walking dead man at times, but it's true, unless a seed falls to
the ground and dies it cannot bear much grain (John 12) I must
continually die to myself, die to my visions, die to the wants and
demands of even family and friends...& simply follow Christ.

I ask that you could pray for me in this season that God would
give me faith and wisdom to navigate through this storm of life.
It's so easy to go the easy path, but somehow I know that I know
I must choose the straight and narrow... this is what I read in
my devotional this morning...

"He (Jesus) said to another man, "Follow me."But the man replied, "Lord I must first go and bury my father."Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Still another said,"I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.' Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

He told them, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. GO! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves." Matthew 9:59-62, 10:2-3

Amen...I am only reminded of this song at this moment in my life...

I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back, no turning back

Though none go with me
I still will follow
No turning back, no turning back

God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
Lord be thou my vision and be my only satisfaction.

Trusting You all the way...for Your love is infinitely faithful.


At 1/23/2005 07:26:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

With His strength you will pull through and at the end of it all, it will all be so worth it. Hang in there, cause He loves you and is holding your hand even through trying times :)
I'll be rahrah-ing(for lack of a better word) for you!

At 1/23/2005 07:58:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just want to say that I will be praying for you!

~a prayer warrior & highschool student from HK ;)

At 1/23/2005 09:04:00 AM , Blogger Victoria Lee Eusebio said...

There is no safer place for the Christian to be than at the feet of Jesus.

A song that I love:

'The Potter's Hand'
Beautiful Lord, wonderful Savior.
I know for sure all of my days are
Held in Your hand,
Crafted into Your perfect plan.

You gently call me into Your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes.

I'm captured by Your Holy calling
Set me apart, I know You're drawing
Me to Yourself, lead me Lord I pray.

Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand.

I pray that our Lord will give you confidence, strength and determination like Joshua! Just wait and see all the briiliant plans awaiting for you in the near future Jaeson!! May we acclaim God for his righteousness! Victory comes from the Lord!

With lots of prayers n Love,

At 1/23/2005 09:14:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

keeping you in our prayers, jaeson...know how you feel about dying to important relationships in your life, family, and the complete sacrifice He calls us to Himself alone. we're in the rough times with you, praying and interceding for you to be strengthened and to be encouraged:

Why are you in despair o my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God. -- pslam 42:11

At 1/24/2005 09:46:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pastor Jaeson,

Share with U the verses that the Holy Spirit always remind me...

I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.
Psalm 16:2

Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to act in accordance with all the law that my servant Moses commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, so that you may be successful wherever you go.
This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to act in accordance with all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall be successful.
I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:7-9

May God give U strength and trust to serve HIM all the days of your life.

from your intercessor

At 1/26/2005 04:37:00 AM , Blogger Grace said...

Pastor Jaeson,
Someone pray for you.

I love this verse - Micah6:8 "He has made clear to you, O man, what is good; and what is desired from you by the Lord; only doing what is right, and loving mercy, and walking without pride before your God." Share with U.

Hope to see U in HK.

At 9/09/2008 09:44:00 PM , Anonymous Some1 said...

I hear you. i do feel like how you feel at times. but dont worry. God's there.



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